
Candid Confession. As a Cis Gendered 50 something, I have not been the best in remembering to ask for, or to use the correct pronouns 100% of the time. I'm about 80-90%. I think the important thing is to be respectful ALL of the time. It doesn't hurt you at all to address the person you are speaking with to use their preferred pronouns, it's simply vocabulary to you, but it's true identity to the person you are addressing. It's hard to break long time habits, trust me I know, but the important thing is to try and to always use respect when speaking to the the other person. I'm doing much better, but there is room for improvement. That being said, I think it's important to write this researched post...
International Pronouns Day is an annual event that highlights the importance of respecting, sharing, and educating others about personal pronouns. It is typically observed on the third Wednesday in October, with a focus on making it commonplace to ask for and use someone's correct pronouns. This observance is crucial for fostering inclusivity and respect, particularly for transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people, whose pronouns may differ from those that others might assume based on their appearance or gender expression.
The History of International Pronouns Day
International Pronouns Day first took place on October 17, 2018. It was created to address the gap in understanding the significance of pronouns in relation to identity, especially within the LGBTQ community. Pronouns like “he/him,” “she/her,” and “they/them” serve as fundamental aspects of how people wish to be identified. Recognizing and using the correct pronouns is a way to validate someone's identity and show respect. Over the years, International Pronouns Day has gained traction across the globe, with events, discussions, and social media campaigns helping to spread awareness and understanding of pronoun use.
Why Pronouns Matter
Pronouns are much more than grammatical tools; they are integral to how individuals express and affirm their identities. For many, using the correct pronouns is a matter of dignity, respect, and affirmation. Here are some key reasons why pronouns matter:
Respecting Identity: When someone shares their pronouns, they are sharing a part of their identity. Using those pronouns correctly respects their identity and shows that you recognize their experience.
Building Inclusive Spaces: Creating environments where sharing pronouns is normalized can significantly help those who might otherwise feel marginalized. It allows transgender and nonbinary people to participate in conversations without having to correct misgendering.
Reducing Harm: Misgendering—using incorrect pronouns or referring to someone using pronouns that don't align with their identity—can be deeply hurtful. It can remind people of the ways in which their identity is not recognized or respected, which can have negative mental health impacts.
Promoting Allyship: For allies, sharing pronouns (even if they align with expectations) can signal a willingness to respect others' pronouns. It encourages a culture where discussing pronouns is normalized and can be especially impactful in educational, professional, or social settings.
How to Observe International Pronouns Day
Observing International Pronouns Day can be as simple as starting a conversation or as organized as hosting a community event. Here are some ways to celebrate and support this day:
Educate Yourself and Others: One of the core goals of International Pronouns Day is to foster understanding. Take time to read about the different types of pronouns, such as neopronouns (e.g., xe/xem), and learn how to respectfully ask for and use someone’s pronouns.
Normalize Pronoun Sharing: Include your pronouns in your email signature, social media profiles, or during introductions in meetings and gatherings. This small action helps normalize pronoun sharing and creates a safer space for those whose pronouns might be less commonly assumed.
Host or Attend a Workshop: Many schools, community centers, and workplaces host workshops or discussions about the importance of pronouns. Attending or organizing one can be a great way to learn more and show support.
Engage on Social Media: Using hashtags like #PronounsDay and #InternationalPronounsDay, share posts or resources about why pronouns matter. Social media can be a powerful tool for amplifying voices and educating others.
Practice Compassion and Accountability: If you make a mistake with someone's pronouns, it’s important to correct yourself without making it a bigger issue for the person. Apologize, correct, and continue with the conversation.
The Role of Pronouns in LGBTQ+ Spaces
In LGBTQ+ communities, pronouns play a particularly critical role in affirming gender identity and providing visibility for those whose identities might be otherwise misunderstood or overlooked. For transgender, nonbinary, and gender nonconforming people, sharing their pronouns is often a way to assert their identity in a society that might not automatically understand or accept it.
The Impact on Transgender and Nonbinary Individuals
For transgender individuals, being referred to by their correct pronouns is a powerful form of recognition and respect. It affirms their gender transition and validates their experiences in a world that often imposes rigid gender norms. For nonbinary people, pronouns like "they/them" can challenge societal assumptions that everyone must fit within a male or female identity, providing space for those who do not feel aligned with binary gender categories.
Pronouns like “xe/xem” or “ze/hir” are examples of neopronouns, which some nonbinary people use to better express their gender identity. While they may be less familiar to some, using them correctly when requested is an important part of fostering inclusivity and understanding. International Pronouns Day encourages people to learn and practice these aspects of language as a step toward a more accepting society.
Addressing Misconceptions About Pronouns
Even with growing awareness, there are still some misconceptions surrounding pronouns that can create barriers to acceptance. Here are a few common misunderstandings and how to address them:
“It’s Just Grammar”: While pronouns are a part of grammar, they also carry significant meaning beyond the structure of language. Using the correct pronouns is about affirming identity, much like using someone’s chosen name.
“Using ‘They’ as Singular Is Incorrect”: The singular “they” has a long history in the English language, dating back to the 14th century. It’s already used in common contexts when a person’s gender is unknown (e.g., “Someone left their phone.”). Its use as a gender-neutral pronoun is widely accepted by major style guides like the Associated Press and MLA.
“It’s Too Difficult to Remember New Pronouns”: While it may take time to adjust, it’s important to prioritize people’s comfort over convenience. Practicing and committing to learning new pronouns is a way to show respect and empathy.
The Importance of Allies on International Pronouns Day
Allies play a crucial role in making International Pronouns Day meaningful. Being an ally means using your platform, privilege, and voice to support those whose pronouns are often misunderstood or ignored. Here’s how allies can make a difference:
Speak Up Against Misgendering: Correcting misgendering when it happens, especially if the person affected might feel uncomfortable speaking up, helps create a more inclusive environment.
Educate Others: Take the initiative to share information about pronouns and why they matter with friends, family, or coworkers. This can take the pressure off LGBTQ+ people to educate others about their own identities.
Support Policy Changes: Advocate for inclusive policies in workplaces and schools that respect pronoun use. This might include ensuring that HR practices include pronoun fields or that schools create spaces for students to share their pronouns comfortably.
Moving Forward: The Future of Pronoun Awareness
While International Pronouns Day is a significant event for raising awareness, it is just one step in a larger movement towards gender inclusivity and respect. As more people understand the importance of pronouns, conversations around gender and identity are evolving. Yet, there is still much work to be done, particularly in regions where transgender rights and recognition are under threat.
Looking ahead, continued education, advocacy, and community building are key to ensuring that the progress made on days like International Pronouns Day extends throughout the year. As language continues to evolve and more people embrace diverse pronouns, a world where everyone’s identity is respected feels increasingly within reach.
International Pronouns Day is a reminder that small acts—like using someone’s correct pronouns—can make a profound difference in the lives of others. It’s a celebration of the diversity of human experience and a commitment to building a world where everyone feels seen, respected, and included. Whether through educational efforts, social media posts, or simply practicing mindfulness in daily interactions, everyone can contribute to the spirit of this day.
By embracing the importance of pronouns, we take one step closer to a world where people are not only accepted for who they are but celebrated for it. On this International Pronouns Day, let’s all commit to listening, learning, and using language as a tool for inclusion.
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